To Have Our Hearts Emptied, To Be Left As We Came

by Good Weather for Airstrikes

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released October 11, 2011




all rights reserved
Track Name: Not If I See You First
When I was just a child, I thought I could tell the future
Heartbroken I was when I realized I was nothing special
Sometimes I find myself longing for that naivety
Fingers stained from mustard, not from all this nicotine
When my hands were shovels, not vessels for impurities
I know this past summer we fought more than ever
I'm trying to be better, but I've still a long way to go

Oh brother, don't leave me here
Without you I am nothing but my bones, my blood, my guilt
I always knew I'd let you down
Please don't give up on me, one day I'll make you proud

Oh brother, don't leave me here
Dear brother, don't leave me here
Track Name: (in)finite
I'm constantly plagued by the thought of how I will be remembered
When I pack in my bones what words will escape from the lips of others?
What emotions will they feel? Will they laugh, smile, or cry?

I'm trapped in these feelings of being finite.
And I lay awake at night wondering these questions
Like will I know what gives us hope
I'm not sure if I'll ever know what puts life in our souls
And I'm not sure where I'll go from here
But I hope that I keep moving forward

It seems now all I can do is dream
I hope for the ability to feel all you've given me
I wish to be blind and deaf to negativity
And only see the beauty that exists in this world
But it seems now all I can do is dream
Track Name: Everything that Holds Me Back
And it's times like these that I feel like I'm drowning
And it's times like these that I feel I am lost
And it's times like these that I’d find my home in your arms
And for once in my life I felt I'd found my place in this world

And now the ground is shaking, and everything's falling apart
And I find myself surrounded by all that I am not
And for just a moment, I think I should mend this broken heart
But I'm alone now, and alone I rot

I wish I could crawl back to that time when everything was right
Fight the wind and the rain and everything that holds me back
And I hope that maybe someday I'll find some solid ground
But I fear that I may never be that lucky again
Track Name: 25 Years Tomorrow
Matt says we'll get through this just fine
But I know deep down he's hurting just like I am
I'm the one who should have some strength right now
And I'm the one who should hold us together
But I'm struggling to maintain composure
My dad cries himself to sleep while my mother dances with drinks in both hands
And I wonder who hurts more when they realize
Their eldest son won't be who they thought he'd be

Now I find myself feeling ambivalent
For I do not know if I love you more or less
I can feel these habits coming back
And I cannot seem to keep my hands clean enough
But maybe this is what's best for all of us
To have our hearts emptied, to be left as we came
Track Name: No Fault Of Your Own
As I awake on this April morning to you laying beside me
It hurts to know the next time we speak you'll be wiping tears from your eyes
I think of just how to tell you I can’t be the man you need me to be
And though I will always hold you sweetly in my heart, you'll never lay in my arms
This is not the first time I've been down this road: a broken, tangled path of thorns
But to this day I never hesitate to make the same mistakes twice
When I say these things I take no pride - I don't like the man I've become
I just need some fear in my heart to feel like I'm in love

And as I turn to leave
And you say you'll give me all you have
I say that's exactly it
If I can have you, I don't want you

I never meant to break you so badly
I never meant for you to get so involved
I hope that one day you'll find someone better
Right now I'm a man without a heart from which to start
Track Name: Places Change, I Long to Stay the Same
I know you're wondering when I'll give up on these destructive habits I've kept
In time my friend, but for right now just leave my skeletons to me
Don't hold me so high, because up here I can barely breathe
I know I seem worse for wear, but your expectations have gotten the best of me

We had the summer at least to redeem ourselves, to mend the bridges we had burned
It was thrilling at first, and for a moment I thought that I had fallen in love again
But it could never last - try as I might my place in this world is cemented
I love the start, but I can't stay around to see just how it ends
I've spent so long trying to be a better man, the one that you envision in me
And I admit that I've been too concerned with what you'll say when I die
But forgive me for desiring the piece of mind to know my time mattered
So for right now, I must leave and try to be a part of something bigger

But I still need you here
I'll hold you in my arms, and I'll be damned if you're leaving
And I'll die with these scars, but thanks to you I know they won't go any deeper
We've let each other down before, but I think that if we try we can learn from the mistakes that we've made
Because I still need you here
I still need you here